Prelude

P R E G N A N T, I spelled the words out in exasperation. My brain can’t wrap around the words. Mark just sat there in his doctor’s white robe, with concern in his eyes, waiting for me to say something else. His hand reached out to grasp mine, but I jerked mine away before he could take hold and comfort me. I didn’t deserve it. Retracting his hand, he just continued to stare at me. Finally breaking our silent stalemate, he offered me some solutions. “Blue, this is not the end of the world. There are alternatives. The shortage of babies in the United States offers you the opportunity to carry the child with all fees paid. You can even petition for funds to aid you with long-term care of the child.” 

I continued to stare into space in disbelief. “No, Mark, this couldn’t be happening. I can’t be that .0001% woman that gets pregnant on the N contraceptive.” I felt even more guilty for practically screaming this at him. No, No, No. My friend Dr Mark Wall was the only doctor I trusted. After all, we went to high school together. This time, when his hand came out to comfort me, I accepted it. It wasn’t his fault that I’ve made a mess of my life. Those sympathetic eyes roamed my face before he said, “Look, my partner and I would love to have you if you wanted to come stay with us through your pregnancy.” That offer was so generous, I felt tears stinging my eyes. My throat could barely open to form my words. “Let me have time to digest this. I may take you up on your offer.” He smiled, and it reflected sincerity in his eyes. 

I rose to leave. “Wait!” Mark said. There is another alternative. I can write this up as though I gave you an emergency abortion. This will give you time to disappear and to live with us and then you can put the child up for adoption. 

Now, I thought that may be a viable solution for the mess I’ve made. I asked, “Won’t this get you in trouble, since abortion is illegal?” 

Mark now looked hopeful. “I could, but it is unlikely. I will make up some life-threatening ailment and perform the abortion on paperwork. Then I will put the file in some obscure location, so if you choose the procedure, I can do it at any time.”

Emotion overwhelmed me and I wrapped my arms around my friend in a hug, then cried and confessed all. “It’s all my fault. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with my husband. It was just a job. We have a two-year contract that was up a couple of weeks ago. He is gone off to his next assignment. Then there is Tim, my sister’s husband. I was so depressed I wasn’t thinking about when we had sex. If he tells my sister Red, she will never forgive me.”

Mark hugged me back and rubbed circles over my back. “How about I call James and tell him we will have a guest for dinner, and we will all discuss this?” That sounds good, I replied grudgingly. His face lit up, “Ok, great, come by, say, around 7?” Hope shone in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel better. At least I won’t be alone through this pregnancy. I thought.